In the first few years of parenthood, it feels like everyone has an opinion about how you “should” be raising your child. This has only been compounded by influencers on social media telling you everything is “wrong” with your parenting and making you question your instincts about what is right for your family. Your child may have a problem with sleep, but before taking action to change anything, I encourage you to take a moment and think about your ideal outcome for your family. Not what the outcome should be, but what would feel like good, consistent sleep to you.

Regardless of what your extended family, friends or influencers have to say about what your child’s sleep should look like; If your child is happy, healthy, well rested, and their sleep habits feel sustainable to you, then there is nothing that needs to be fixed! You know your family best, it’s not up to anyone else.

Now, I assume that you’ve landed on my website because it feels like your child’s sleep habits are unsustainable, but I want to be sure that this is something coming from you. You know what is best for your child and family as a whole. Your parenting journey will require setting boundaries with your loved ones as well as with your child. The remedy to your child’s sleep problems requires consistent and persistent effort. This may mean saying no to your in-laws coming over during nap time, or leaving functions early to put your little one down for bed on time. Drawing these boundaries can be stressful (I hate confrontation too!) but remember your “why”.

When your child isn’t sleeping well, they’re not at their best – and neither are you! Studies have shown that insufficient sleep leaves children with impaired cognitive functioning, learning difficulties, and even decreased brain development in areas linked to attention, memory and self regulation. These negative effects in brain development were still noted two years after the study, suggesting a lack of sleep has long term effects on brain development. A sleep deprived child is not in a state to learn, just as a sleep deprived adult (you!) is not in a state to be the fully present parent, partner, and friend that you deserve to be. Parenting can be joyful, and if lack of sleep is preventing it from feeling that way, then it’s time to make a change.

Now pause, take a moment to think about what your life and parenting journey would look like if your child’s sleep aligned with your ideal sleep scenario. Your child’s sleep will change and develop as they do, but good sleep habits last a lifetime. Your ideal scenario will take work to achieve, but you can get there!